Be Real, Be Yourself

Be real, be your true self.

Yes, I can be very blunt. My statements can be very harsh and cut right through the heart or soul of the odd recipient. Never intentional for the sake of hitting, always backed up with facts. Constructive. It's who I am, and I've come a long way to become this. A matter of age, life's experiences, background, heritage, genetics and, believe it or not, nationality. The Dutch are famous for being brutally honest. Amsterdam natives such as me are even worse.


So, when I view the world around me, I take all this with me. Sometimes I feel like that little boy in the movie Life Of Pi. Eyes growing by what I see. Amazed, intrigued, fascinated, eager to learn. About anything, everything. Close by or far away. About any subject, on any level. It is heriditary. My Dad f*cked the gene pool and I'm his 'clone'. All this has provided me with a wealth of knowledge. Trivial and non-trivial. 'Learn at least one thing a day', I say.


So, I see myself as a ground-bound 'warrior poet', with his boots on the ground in the gritty trenches of the real world. Mind you, I do have my own spirituality but it may not fit the description that many others have for it. I don't talk about a God. Yes, there must be more between Heaven and Earth. I don't believe for a minute that we build our lives in all their intricacies, for it all to abruptly end. That would be a complete waste of time and effort.


So, as a realist I reason from the real, big, both ugly and beautiful world. Never avoiding the cold hard facts of life. Taking responsibility for my own actions. After all, in my life I am the architect who sails on his own compass. I do not feel the need to explain myself, defend myself or answer to anyone, ever. It's all on me. The good and the bad, virtues and vices. My credit, my fault. No hiding behind anything or hiding from anyone. Just deal with it.


Mind you, I haven't always been this way. In my life I have had my fair share of screw-ups. I was a street-wise brat with a lack of self-esteem. I was void of an identity, and for a while I sought it in a group identity of a street gang. I have masked my lack of self-confidence with ego, vanity, dominating streaks, lies and deceit, aggression. Oh yes, I have been a f*cking asshole. However, life provides you with the opportunity to learn and be a better person.


By now, middle-aged, having followed that learning curve, I've become that aging bottle of whisky. Getting better and more expensive with each year added. This never ends. It's a continuous process, right up until that last breath. However, one has to muster up the courage in order to develop this way. It may take two failed marriages and the other odd relationships, breaking things, hurting people. It also takes facing that and owning up to it.


Now, when I look into the world of today, I see many people living in a silent, ignorant state of denial, or acting out loudly as an easily offended snowflake. Frustration can be found in spades. About their own lives, about the world as a whole. I see a lot of empty shells wandering around. Closed off, not communicating to each other, in this day and age when the world should have opened up via communication by phenomena such as the Internet.


I also see many people not taking responsibility for their own actions. Blaming their ordeals on others or other factors. Despite the fact that they have masterminded their own screw-ups. Self reflection seems to be fallen out of grace. Above all, the name of the game seems to be reflecting anybody else but oneself. And I get it. It's very confronting when you place yourself in front of that mirror and make peace with your own virtues and vices. It's hard.


People suffer traumas. Bestowed on them from outside for example. However, even this doesn't absolve them from being responsible for that sh*t. Because, one way or the other, it started out with them making a decision or performing an action that facilitated that ordeal. Of course they did not literally ask for it. But somehow they themselves have created the opportunity for sh*t happening. I know I have. Guilty as charged. Not running away here.


During the course of years I've met many people from all walks of life. Some more down-to-earth like me, others who can be described as 'spiritual beings', and anything in between. One is better equipped to deal with the cold hard facts of life on this planet than the other. One is better able to face it all and carry their own responsibility for it. Others, such as those 'spiritual beings', seem to place their own responsibility on some external philosophies.


God, Allah, Jahweh, the Universe, Higher Collective Consciousness, they are all not for me. But I gladly grant them to those who feel supported by them. What ever works. More power to you all. However, in my personal view, those entities are not the place to park responsibilities for screw-ups in your life that are purely yours and of your own doing. Because, really, it starts with you. Don't admit it, and you are running away. Blissfully.


I've encountered them. I've had discussions with them. And, I've found at least one common denominator. Many have suffered overwhelming traumas in whatever category. In their youth, during the course of their life. Physical and mental abuse, rape, incest, addictions. So overwhelming, that the burden of responsibility for their own ordeal is too heavy for them to carry themselves. Better shift it to something external. A religion, philosophy or book.


So, when I as an 'Earthling' engage in a discussion with such a 'spiritual being', as I have done more than once, basing myself on those cold hard facts of life and science, it often doesn't end well. I've learned a few things from it. 1) I am too honest, too direct, too confronting, 2) they are great in reflecting others but cannot handle being reflected, 3) when push comes to shove, they end a discussion, with a 'superior' '5D' view that 'I as a '3D' am not there yet.'


They base themselves on stuff such as Tzolkin Maya, Eckart Tolle, Twelve Step Program, Avatar Training, Shamans, Mediums or any other holistic Higher Collective Conscience philosophy, stating that the Universe has it all pre-arranged. Anything but basing themselves on their own personality, inner strength or natural authority. And here I am, basing all my good and bad stuff on me and only me. Well, that's not a great combination at all, I tell you.


There is nothing wrong with 'spiritual beings'. Whatever makes you tick. However, it becomes a totally different ballgame when others, being vulnerable after having been traumatized one way or the other, are looking for help in order to recover from it, and lend their ears too much to these New Age types. In spite of searching their own souls and looking for their own inner strength, they might gladly surrender to that spiritual relief, be it fake or not.


Escaping to a 'parallelle universe' instead of dealing with the true cold hard facts of life and one's own responsibility for it, all that slows down one's recovery from traumas. Damn shame. Spirituality can help but it is nothing more than one of many tools to deal with life and the blows it provides. It is my firm belief that it all starts within oneself. Dare to look in that mirror, accept what one sees, make peace with all of it, and start to love oneself for it.


Nobody is perfect. I sure as Hell know I am not either. We are all Humans. Everybody makes mistakes. Both the gritty, Earth-bound, realistic 'warrior poet', the 'spiritual being' and anybody in between. None is above the other. There is no patent on truth. I don't have it. This is just my humble 50 cents here. My underlying message is: do not fool yourself, be honest, be true, be real. First to yourself, then to others. You will be the better person for it.


Accept yourself as a whole. Down to any minute detail. Come to the realization that, if you truly know and love yourself, you actually don't need anyone or anything else. Come to the realization that each and everyone of us is his or her own 'miniature universe', harboring all that you need in order to lead a happy and fruitful life. Rely on your own inner strength and authority. Love yourself first. Then, and only then, you can love the other. A true gift of life.